It was five o'clock in the evening. I had to hurry up for a friend's wedding reception. Somehow managed to get an excuse from my PM...(hez a 'leaving by 7pm.. oh..y so early?' manager).. so leaving at five could alwayz be counted as half day leave with him.. Came out of office right in time to get into the city bus... it was soo crowded (or may be I was so used to the comfort of our office bus , so it looked very crowded that day).I got down at Velachery (the mini T-Nagar). I had to get mallipoo for the reception. (weddings in Chennai and without ur hair braided with mallipoo - u'll look odd for sure). So I went to the 'Pookaramma' sitting there near the bus stand and asked 'mulam evlo?' She was just staring at me without a word in reply. I was a little loud the second time.. and still she didn't reply.. hmm.. already I was late.. so I started to move on to the next lady.. but then she was making a gesture as to look down.. a little confused, I asked her 'enna?' louder than ever.. oh my God !! I've disturbed her baby.. He cried and peeped out from the hides of his mother's sari..all this time she was nursing her baby and she didn't want to disturb the little one.. I said 'sorry' and waited for some time for her to finish and give me 'a mulam of mallipoo' .. I knew I was already late for the wedding.. but somehow didn't feel like rushing to my house to get ready.. I paid her for the mallipoo and was about to leave.. when I saw an old woman come.. she took the baby who was crying by then and walked in the other direction..(the little one cried and looked desperately at his mom..he didn't want to be away from her :-(.. 'I leave him with my parents when I come for work' the pookaramma said..and started loudly..'moonu mulam pathu rooba'.. 'moonu mulam pathu rooba'.. I smiled at her and started walking slowly towards my house..thinking of the little one.. the pookaramma..the scented smell of the mallipoo..was making me more nostalgic..and restless..decided to call my mom and talk for sometime..even wanted to see her.. but for that I have to wait for the weekend and travel 8 hours by train... so I called her up.. the other end I could hear.. helloo amma.. come..nyo..aafizz.. bya..chee u.. it was my 2 year old who picked the phone.. before I could say even a word... he put the phone down..
achacho.. I am late for the wedding.. looked at my watch and started rushing home..
Is money more important? ..Is your job more important? than your little one..many ask me.. they were the same questions I wanted to ask the 'Pookaramma'.. may be she would have never replied.. or may be she would have said 'no.. nothing is important than my little one' and carried on with her 'moonu mulam pathu rooba.. moonu mulam pathu rooba'..
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About Me
- Betsy Samraj
- Though a passionate reader, I've never tried writing.. Now giving it a try in All that she had to say.
Nice one.. keep it up..
ReplyDeleteWell whats more important? A job working with a "I leave at 7 PM y so early" manager or being with your small baby when he is at that phase when he needs his mother the most.
And when poeple grow old they complain that their children never have time for them or come to see them.
@Kool like Dat: thanks :-) as u said, when ppl grow old they might complain that their children never have time for them, but they might have no regrets for what their sons/daughters are after all these yrs..so independent and so adaptable..(atleast 90% of whom I hv seen are so..)
ReplyDeleteanywayz I dont really hv an answer for ur question..
Betsy, It's just survival! Can the pookaaramma survive without selling the mallipoo for 10 rupees?
ReplyDeleteCan you survive in this world, paying your EMI, your bills, your other expenses without your job?
@Chopper: hmm..in a way that's true..
ReplyDeleteWell.. I'd add one more angle to the whole thing.. would you buy a Benz if you cannot maintain it? Would you buy a villa if you could not afford the EMIs.. so can we say.. like how the Benz needs to be maintained.. or a house needs the EMI to be paid.. a child needs the mothers presence and love???? But then Indian and especially Tamil society demands you have a kid within a year of marriage.. if not something is wrong!!
ReplyDelete@Kool Like Dat: you can add 10-20 different angles to it..it depends on the perception each person has..
ReplyDeletea child needs the mother's presence and love- this is universal.. but 'one shud plan for a child only when the mother can really spend 2-3 years of time with him/her'..is your way of looking at it.. I dont't justify that leaving the child in a day care/ with the grandparents till hez old enough to be put in a school is right..but a mom wud work for various reasons..it can be survival/career/service/interest/to afford a comfortable living for their children/to support her husband's commitments etc.. etc..so do u think ppl shud plan for a kid only when they are out and free of all these things????.. tho' most working moms feel guilty of spending less time with their young children, the first 7-8 months of their baby, moms never compromise..more than just time spent with the child, the quality of time also matters- .. this is my way of looking at it :-)
That was really touching betsy .. its the case of all working mothers ... sometime or the other a mother is diverted from her child. It might be household work or outside or even a second child or the other child who needs much care ... no mother can spend all her time with a child ... its not how much time you spend with them .. its about how much you care for them ... and its true that your child will miss you all the time until he grows independent ...
ReplyDeletenice one Bet!!! very touching...
ReplyDeleteSometimes in life we can't find answers for all questions...
ReplyDeleteKeep writing.. God bless.
@Anonymous: thank u..
ReplyDeletei heard feelings cant be expressed in words....is tat true r is tis true ?i meant tis touching 1.sure i do accept ethin but its not gonna b t same ever....dear sis.remember when i was in hostel for 4yrs...alone.every weekend ill rush home 2 c mom....but after reachin home ill fight with her for silly reasons.....money,hostel discomforts n lots more....ill complain bout t food she makes though i know its t best and it was t same food i was dying 2 have all t week.does tis mean t way u think.no...n never....i had 2 finish my degree without which i cant survive lately.so does tis mean im compromising ....no never....even in tis love n care is there.n i say its more than bein with them al t time...its unconditional.love has lots of ways 2 be expressed...like t one u tried thru tis 1....i cannot find poetry r a story r t problem r anythin else others mentioned....but ur love n care for ur kid.always remember tat v live in a reel world to accomplish n satisfy n spread our love n care in the real world.hats off pookaramma.
ReplyDelete@Anonymous: thank u..and very true..just becoz a mom spends less time with the kid doesn't mean love and care for the kid is also less.. but hope the kid also understands this one day :-)
ReplyDeleteha betsy...The question which will be there always in your mind..posted as a blog too:) hope u will get answer.. wait yaa i will answer in the future:)
ReplyDeleteanyway its very nice:)
@swetha: thanks.. m sure u'll be able to answer tis question in ur future.. :-)..
ReplyDelete